Conscious women are notorious for putting themselves on the back burner in their lives. They give and give to everyone under the sun, and are often depleted and resentful as a result, usually without understanding why.
As people, our constant drive to give more than we can. This forces us to feel as though we’re less than other people.
We often struggle with thoughts that we’re selfish for allowing ourselves to take priority in our lives or for not bowing down to other people’s needs right away, even if we’re so drained we can barely live our own lives.
We have been so conditioned to give that we hardly ever put ourselves first. It’s a real, terrible problem with conscious women in our society that prevents us from living fulfilling lives because we’re told from a young age that we should focus on everyone else first.
How often are young boys told that they can do whatever they aspire to, while young girls are told that they’re supposed to look forward to marriage and take a secondary, supporting role in other people’s lives? Even the media we consume has so many depictions of women as supporting roles, yet so few taking charge of themselves in a way that isn’t fueled by a desire for romance with a man.
It sounds like a small thing, but it makes significant ripples in our lives. Just like any traumatic experience shapes a person, women experience little traumas while we grow up that shape us into people who think we shouldn’t try to achieve as much as men do, especially when we’re punished for trying.
Consider the wage gap, for instance, as a favorite example of how conscious women are often set back for their confidence and initiative. Now consider that the gap for Native, Latina-, and African-American women is even wider than for Caucasian American women. Ouch! Over time, that stings in a real way, both mentally and financially.
Society’s setbacks manifest in a real way in balancing your relationship with business with the expectations of being a woman.
Things like maintaining a marriage, being the sole caretaker of your children, and being expected to be ridiculously cheerful and never put your foot down with people in the professional and social sphere.
Even if you want to do some of those things, it can feel unfair because we often feel like we don’t have a choice but to do them, and people take advantage of that all the time because they know you’re backed into a corner and can’t say no.
I used to suffer from this vicious cycle of taking myself out. I used to put everyone else first and say yes to people when I meant no, no matter how laborious or unenjoyable it seemed.
It was EXHAUSTING!
I felt terrible about myself all the time, worried about what other people thought of me, and felt like a victim all the time, which seriously put a dent in how I engaged with the world around me.
I have learned that it’s alright to put myself first – in fact, it’s a basic and essential part of my life.
I had not invested in my personal or spiritual development because I felt selfish for doing anything for myself, as is the case for many women today.
Now I am happy to say that I have invested significantly in my development. I’m doing great now; I’m balancing a healthy life (with ups and downs), and I’m enjoying the work that I do instead of crumbling under its weight.
I had taken a leap of faith and moved through lots of fear for that to become my reality, and it was absolutely worth it. Why fear? Because it’s uncomfortable sticking up for yourself if you don’t feel like you fundamentally deserve it. It makes you think other people will put you down and you’ll get hurt for doing it.
The reality is that, while it may feel like other people are conspiring against you, that doesn’t have to be the case. You can seek support from the people in your life who want you take charge of yourself. You can always ask for help because you deserve that help just as much as anyone deserves yours.
I want that for you too! As a conscious woman, I want you to rise up and say yes to yourself and your life, reclaiming your strength and power.
Where are you saying no to yourself in your life?
Where are you giving your power away?
What are your needs, wants, and desires?
How do you want to feel every morning when you wake up?
The choice is truly yours to make. No matter what obstacles you face along the way, you can carve out a space for yourself where you’re respected, valued, and doing the things you want to do for yourself.
Leave a comment below if you’d like to share some of the struggles you’ve faced as a woman in your field!